Drake once rapped about giving up lean, the cocktail of lemon-lime soda and cough syrup that has intoxicated many a hip-hop artist. Maricopa’s own Champagne Papi? He couldn’t quite match those vibes.

According to a probable cause statement obtained by InMaricopa, police arrested 25-year-old Asfa Taitt on Monday morning after officers say he chugged stolen champagne, then circled back for the makings of lean.

It all went down barely an hour after Fry’s Marketplace opened its doors. Just after 7 a.m., store supervisor Dustin Brown dialed 911. His report: A man entered the store, snagged three bottles of champagne from the alcohol aisle, walked into the parking lot, cracked them open and started chugging.

Witnesses said Taitt then strolled south toward Planet Fitness, ducked inside, apparently reconsidered leg day and walked right back out. (Police did not note whether the infamous Lunk Alarm was activated.)

Undeterred, Taitt returned to Fry’s, this time scooping up three bottles of Sprite and a bottle of NyQuil, police said. He breezed past self-checkout again and left the store with his purple-drink starter pack.

Officers eventually found him at the southeast corner of the Planet Fitness lot, Sprite and NyQuil in hand. When told to drop his lean ingredients, Taitt reportedly refused and started walking back toward the gym.

Cops grabbed him, but according to the report, Taitt resisted as they tried to put him on the ground. With both officers on his back and him still refusing commands, one officer deployed his taser, stunning him twice in the back until he complied.

Store staff later tallied the stolen goods at $72.44. Taitt was booked into the Pinal County jail on charges of shoplifting and resisting arrest. If convicted, he faces up to a year behind bars.

It wasn’t exactly God’s Plan.